Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The one where everything is normal.

It started out like a normal day. Waking up to Daddy getting ready for work, then going and waking up the 2 babies so they can go to the bathroom, without wetting the bed. No one had any clothes leftover. Mom had been so busy trying to get the back yard fixed up that the Laundry never got finished. The clean piles of laundry had all been rummaged through and everything was now dirty again.

Mom put on her same clothes that she had worn the day before. Then they said their morning prayers and sent Dad off to work. She re-started the load of laundry in the washer and came back upstairs. Now it was time to get breakfast on, Mom had planned on making cinnamon rolls, but the kids beat her into the kitchen and were already munching on crackers and cereal. Just like a normal day.

The kitchen was at that point again. Covered in children mess, it was time to mop again. The way she normally the kitchen a shower. She turns the sink water on as hot as she can get it. Using the sprayer she douses the ENTIRE kitchen. Walls, table, and floor. She grabs the stiff bristled broom, the one with the wooden handle. Its the only handle that hasn't been broken from being used as a dueling stick. Today, she didn't even bother to sweep. All of it was food, biodegradable. So, once the kitchen was thoroughly wetted, she began to scrub the table...with the broom. Like normal.

Egg, why was there always dried egg in the kitchen? She grabbed the metal BBQ spatula out of the grilling drawer, every normal persons first choice for cleaning their kitchen, and began to scrape up anything that wouldn't just wash away with water. "MMMOOOM! I'm hungry!" It was only 10am, they had just eaten. She told him that it wasn't time to eat yet, "Well, is there a snack I can eat? What can I have right now?"

"Son, have you SEEN this kitchen? How could you want to eat in this mess?!? You can wait until lunch. I have a lot to do, go clean your room."

"Ok, but can I just have an apple?"

Mother walks over to the sink and grabs the sink sprayer, "Run." She tells him. This was the normal courtesy warning before dousing a child with sink water. By the time she turns around, he has vacated the kitchen. It wouldn't have been the first time she sprayed someone in the house. Her children always understood actions better than words.

Alone again, she returns to scrubbing and scraping. Once everything crusty has lifted off the floor, she takes their one good broom handle and unscrews it. She locates the giant squeegee head and attaches the broom handle. Pulling open the sliding glass door as wide as she can, she continues her normal routine... to squeegee everything out the back door. Then she squeegees the crumbs, chocolate chips, dried shredded cheese, and stale rolls, off the porch and into the grass. The kitchen is sparkling, mostly because it's all got a shine of wetness to it, but she decides to ignore that fact and revel in the imaginary clean.

"Ok kids! You can come in for lunch now!" The stampede of boys races to the kitchen.

"What did you cook?" one of the boys says.

"Cook?" The mother says in disbelief. "I didn't cook anything. I cleaned the kitchen so you could eat in it! What you eat is up to you. Pull out some leftovers or make a sandwich." She leaves them to their own abilities and goes to retrieve the girls. Slowly pushing open the door to their room she finds that their sliding closet doors have been knocked off the rails again. The beds are pushed into the middle of the room and every toy is out and covered in saltine crumbs.

She rolls her eyes and steps in the room, hearing a splash she looks down, "Ew...that better be water." She knows better, it's NEVER water. It's the normal wet puddle on the floor. She grabs the dirty pillow case on the floor right as the youngest boy walks in. He watches her clean up the "liquid."

"MOM! Don't clean up pee with my pillow sheet!" He begins to cry.

"Son, it was already dirty, but I'm sorry. I'll throw it in the washing machine." Which normally means it won't be done for a week. That pacifies him enough, but his lip still quivers. "You need to go eat lunch with your brothers, take the girls with you. Then we can give you all a bath." By the time mother finishes putting the girls room back together the kids have finished lunch. She can hear them playing in the back yard. Hallelujah for trampolines, the normal choice for after lunch.

She goes downstairs to change the laundry. The load that she thought she had restarted was in the dryer...wet. Confused she examines the laundry in the washer. Its all boys blankets. They tried to do laundry but forgot to start the dryer and forgot to change it. The normal and familiar eye rolling starts. She takes the wet load of her clothes out of the dryer and throws them on the floor. Supposing she didn't really need clean clothes because she never left the house, she started the little boy blankets in the dryer. She dumped a laundry basket full of clothes into the washer and starts it, and only then remembered that HER laundry was still on the floor wet. Normal eye roll. Somedays it felt as if her eyes were just rolling unencumbered within her head. Heaving a sigh she leaves the laundry room, steps up past the missing landing, and heads up the stairs.

The kitchen....her eyes rolled into the back of her head again. If children didn't have to eat it would eliminate most of her problems. Nothing goes in, nothing comes out. Yep, that would fix all of her problems. Heaving the normal response, to vow to redo the kitchen before bed, she puts away the current load of laundry.

"Boys!" she yells in her normal, you better be working, voice. "If that room isn't done in 20 minutes I'm bagging EVERY TOY up and putting it in the garage!" Frantic scrambling is heard for the first five seconds....and then back to playing around. They're distracted again, like normal. Mother cleans her room as she waits for the 20 minutes to pass. Then enters the boys domain to find that only a blanket has been picked up.

Without remorse, she takes the broom and begins to sweep the entire contents of their floor into a trash bag. The entire room erupts in a wail of injustice. "We didn't have enough time!" "We just got a little distracted." "Why are you being the Devil!?!" Just the normal response to mom trying to find a clean house.

She manages to convince the boys that they can keep their special stuffed animals if they finish putting the rest of the toys in the trash bag. The protest at first, but realizing that it's either this or nothing, they relent. She gives them another 20 minutes to finish and realizes it's time to prepare dinner. Dad will be home soon and everyone will need to eat. She thinks of the normal dinners, tacos, lasagna, french bread pizza. Yes, one of those will do nicely. She pulls out a pound of sausage and sets it on the table. She was going to have to sweep normal.

Time was up, again, for the boys room to be done. Mom sets dinner aside and goes in for the inspection. Much more improvement this time. And a bag full of stuff that won't be coming back into the house. Win win. The dryer signal goes off, the never ending cycle of laundry continues, dinner would have to wait a bit longer, as per the norm.

She finishes up folding and putting away the laundry just as Dad gets home. Dinner still isn't finished and the kitchen still needs to be swept again. The normal reaction was for them to retreat to the comfort of their room, so that's what they do. The kids find graham crackers and apples, looks like what Mother planned for dinner isn't going to happen, like normal.

1 comment:

  1. You're great and I love you. Can't wait to give you a hug on Saturday!!