Monday, November 2, 2009
Thoughts on Motherhood
It is a rare thing as a mother of 3 and expecting a 4th to find a moment of peace. But in those rare moments…you find yourself. Take your most frustrating day, and find the joy in the little moments. Cleaning my house is a chore, and I get frustrated because my children all want to be around me. Them being toddlers, they get into everything and make more of a mess than when I started. But a thought occurred to me. They keep coming around because the love me, they want my attention, and want me to play with them, and love them back. As my 1 year old, Gavin, walks into my room to show me something. I had to smile. Here I am…cleaning, and sweating the small details, when my son just wants to show his mom he loves her.
It is important to keep your house livable, but it doesn’t need to be spotless. And no matter how many times I told my children to go play today, they always came back to where I was cleaning. Sadly I did get frustrated and yelled a few times, “Why won’t you just go play?!” It is hard to recognize the moment when you are in it. But to them, they were playing. If you can seize that little moment, hold to it tightly. I hope I’ve been able to convey to my children how much they actually mean to me. Each one of them brings me new purpose, and brightens my day. A song from Mikey, a game of Peek-a-Boo from Xander, a kiss from Gavin, each rejuvenating act of love is worth every wet bed, stinky diaper, and temper tantrum.
I have noticed, sometimes it isn’t the child that throws the temper tantrum. A lot of the time, it’s me. But if I sit back, breath, and take in the full situation, I can become the mother I want to be. The kind gentle, understanding, mommy. And usually when you step back, you notice what a child was actually trying to do. Yes they put all their toys in the toilet, but really their toys just needed a bath, ant that was the only thing in the bathroom with water in it. Yes it was permanent marker in your favorite book, but it’s a picture of mommy. Yes there is cereal all over the floor, but he was just trying to be a big boy and poor it himself. Yes there is poo all over the floor, but he was just trying to change his brother stinky diaper. If we as parents can look through a child’s eyes, we will see a kinder world, and be able to understand more fully what our child was doing at that moment. Normally, as small children, they are trying to learn, or do something nice for a loved one. We just have to take a step back and use their eyes to see it. And the more that you do, you will find yourself complementing your children more, and teaching them valuable lessons that may have otherwise gotten lost in the daily grind of life.